Where Is Darkness, My Old Friend?

In the almost two weeks I have been in Finland, I have learned--painfully and against my will--quite a lot about meteorology and weather.  For example, did you know that 27 degrees in Finland is above freezing?  In fact, it is rather warm!  Yes, this information came as a complete surprise to me.  Especially when I got dressed to take the dogs for a walk in the city park.  My three sweaters, two pairs of pants, long underwear, thermal jacket and Gore-Tex body suit turned out to be excessive.  On the other hand, that city park now has a lovely salt-water lake.

But seriously, I'm an educated guy.  Of course I knew that Europeans are experimenting with a new, unproven system of measurement.  One that lacks the logic of our system of a difference of 180 degrees between freezing and boiling, and starting at 32.  Not to mention the logic of 16 ounces equals 1 pound, unless it is precious metal, in which case 12 ounces equals 1 pound, unless it is a liquid, in which case 16 ounces equals 1 pint (or does it equal 2 cups?).  Yeah, that European system will never catch on.

At the church park where I walk the dogs, there is a fire station with a weather display.  I discovered that barometric pressure is measured here in hPa, which I correctly guessed as representing hectopascals.  That did come as a surprise to me, since before my interweb research I had been 99% sure that Hecto Pascal was a character in a Spanish tele-novella.  (Actually, I still am 85% sure that this is true.)

However, my biggest enlightenment (this is a clever pun, as you will soon see--I am so very, very clever) was my discovery of the meteorological meaning of "twilight."  It turns out that for meteorologists, "twilight" is an endearing and not at all stupid or saccharine series of stories about a teenage girl and a 104-year-old vampire who glitters in sunlight.  However, for the rest of us, there are actually three categories of twilight.  "Civil twilight" occurs when the sun has set but is not far enough below the horizon that visibility of objects at a distance has been reduced.  This is a time period when most jurisdictions allow you to drive your car without turning on your headlights.  Though you do need to remain alert for courting vampires out on dates.

"Nautical twilight" lasts from the end of civil twilight until the horizon is not distinguishable--i.e., when the boundary between earth and sky has faded.  The importance of nautical twilight is that it is when all naval travel stops.  Because of fear of sailing over the horizon and off the earth.  What can I say?  The graduates of naval academies are not all that smart.  Great at football, but not all that smart.  And in all fairness to the graduates of our US Naval Academy, that does put them ahead of graduates of Notre Dame.

Then there is "astronomical twilight."  This is the period from the end of nautical twilight until the sky becomes dark--i.e., when all stars and astronomical bodies in the heavens are at the most visible.  When normal people think of "night", this is what they are thinking of.  Until astronomical twilight ends, you can still see light in the sky, and when dawn breaks, that is the beginning of astronomical twilight at the start of the day.

Why do I tell you this?  Is it because I want to torture you?   Well, duh.  But, in this one instance, there is also a second purpose.  Since I have been in Finland, we have not had one night where the sky reached astronomical twilight.  The sky has never been dark.  We have never NOT had a clear delineation between earth and sky at the horizon, because the sky at the horizon (and above) has always had a light blue glow.  How do I know this?  Is it from my close personal friendship with Neil deGrasse Tyson?  I'm afraid not.  Once I learned that he was not the Tyson who is my favorite 21st century philosopher (and second overall to Immanuel Kant), I stopped taking Neil's calls.

No, the way I learned about the various twilights is by waking up at 12:30 at night  .  .  .  and 1:15 at night  .  .  .  and 1:45 at night, and seeing that it wasn't dark.  And waking up at 3:00am and it is full daylight.  I now have a major beef with Stephanie Meyer, the author of the "Twilight" series.  I know she tried really hard for scientific accuracy, but she clearly stumbled in that regard with her fundamental premise.  If there are any weird phantasms that will exist in the land of twilight, they would be zombies.  Like me, for example.

And, by the way, when Midsummer arrives, you can guess what the Finns do.  Stay up all night and have a party.  Though "all night" is extreme poetic license, since there will not have been a real "night" for the preceding two months.  Still, it is official.  National flags are flown from 8:00am on the morning of Midsummer until 9:00pm the next night.  It's an official, 37-hour bacchanal.  And I will be there.  Moving in a sleep-deprived stupor.  While all the Finnish people have an orgiastic extravaganza.  I assume.  I won't be alert enough to really know.